Confessions
by eternallydaydreaming
Summary: A night of reminiscing leads to unearthing secrets and hurt feelings.


A/N: Stop! Please read this author's note before proceeding. This fic goes with another one-shot that I wrote called "Night Terrors." This was inspired by a review from Andromakhe that I used to challenge myself to right about the aftermath of that fic and it culminated in this sequel. Is it necessary to read "Night Terrors" first? No, this fic can be a stand-alone piece. I do recommend reading "Night Terrors" first though as I think the event will have more of an affect if read first. If you choose to read this fic first, then please go back to "Night Terrors" to read the details of that fateful night when the turtles were only eight-years-old. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles blah blah blah nor do I own the Star Trek quote I embedded in the fic.

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Confessions

It had been way too long since laughter echoed throughout the farm house. But boy did it feel good. The saying goes that laughter is the best medicine, and it was exactly what the doctor would have prescribed Leonardo. With Leonardo always being the strong one in the family – emotionally, morally, and sometimes physically – it was hard for his family and friends watch him suffer through his injury. The physical pain made it difficult for him to get around independently. The emotional pain was the worst part as it slowly tore down his confidence in ever carrying on as a ninja. But tonight they all decided to treat themselves to a much needed mental break. April and Casey made the long track to the closest town with a real, full-fledged grocery store and bought the ingredients to make homemade pizza. The night was spent customizing the different pizza toppings, feasting, and laughing over stories from their old life – life before the Kraang invasion.

"….Sensei was so mad! His fur was purple for a whole week!"

Another round of chuckles and guffaws erupted. Casey could barely catch his breath between bouts of laughter; he nearly choked on a bite of pizza.

"I don't know how you guys do it!" Casey said and then licked some sauce off his finger.

"What do you mean?" Mikey blinked in confusion.

"I mean four brothers under one roof! Me and my sister don't go a day without somehow getting down each other throats for one stupid reason or another." Casey's eyes softened as he pictured his little sister. She was out there somewhere - either as a scared little girl or as a Kraang mutant. Of course he loved his sister but like all siblings, they teased each other mercilessly or found some idiotic way to irritate each other, which effectively annoyed their dad to no end. "There's only so much space in the lair. I can't imagine any of you having much privacy. There mustn't be any secrets between you guys."

I sudden silence descended in the room as each turtles shifted their eyes away from each other. This did not go unnoticed by Casey.

"Oooh!" Casey taunted with a sly smile, intrigued in this turn of mood. "So there are secrets. How about we make this interesting?" Casey pulled the last slice of pizza and placed it on a plate. "I challenge you guys to reveal your deepest, darkest secret. Winner gets the last slice."

Mikey's jaw dropped. "Ain't cool, man! I always get the last slice of pizza."

"What's wrong Mikey? Got a secret you don't want to share?"

"No!" Mikey retorted. "I'm an open book. No skeletons in my closet!"

"That's because Mikey can't keep secrets," Raph stated matter-of-factly.

"Nah ah! I can keep a secret! I didn't blab my mouth when Donnie killed Sensei's bonsai tree! Oops!" Mikey's hands slapped over his mouth. He chanced a glance at his brother and found a deadpan stare on Donnie's face.

"Well, the consolation is knowing that Mikey can keep a secret for ten years. Pretty sure that's a personal best," Donnie sighed while avoiding the glares from Leo and Raph.

"Hold on! You were responsible for that!" Raph shouted. "We _all_ got punished for that incident!"

"Sorry…," came the mumbled response.

"Sorry? Sorry?!"

"Whoah, whoah!" April intervened with her hands in the air like a referee calling the fighters to their corners. "What happened with the bonsai?"

Donnie groaned, realizing he owed his brothers an explanation. "Well you see, Sensei had this bonsai tree. It had been a gift from his wife, Tang Shen. It was one of the few things he was able to salvage and keep from his past as a human. So it was a very sentimental item to him. I didn't know it was an irreplaceable keepsake. In fact I didn't know the story behind it until he told us after the fact. Anyway, I was only five and started learning about photosynthesis and the role of plants in our ecosystem. So I wanted to experiment with the concept and the bonsai was the only plant item I could work with…we weren't allowed to leave the lair at all at that age so my resources were limited. I only meant to borrow it." Donnie rubbed the back of his neck. "You see, bonsai trees are very sensitive and need to be maintained in their optimal conditions. Change one of those conditions and it is disastrous for the plant. I didn't know this and well I ended up killing it. I panicked! I knew I was in deep trouble once Mikey told me the story behind it. I had an epic meltdown and bribed his silence. Honestly, I didn't think he would keep quiet, especially after Sensei called us into the dojo for the interrogation. In the end, no one confessed to murdering the bonsai so we all received a collective punishment. Gomen," Donnie apologized sheepishly.

"Wow!" Casey gaped in awe. "I must say, didn't think you had it in you to be so deceitful, Don."

Donnie shot a death glare at the toothless boy. "You would too if Sensei was your dad. He gets scary when he's mad."

The other three brothers nodded in agreement. Casey eyed the turtles, deciding on his next target. Leo stared down at his can of soda almost as if avoiding eye contact. The boy's mouth pulled into a sinister toothless smirk.

"What about you, Leo?"

"What about me?" he asked nonchalantly.

"What's your secret?"

"I'm clean," he responded, meeting Casey's deep brown eyes.

"Oh come on! Everyone has secrets. You can't tell me you never wronged a brother or concealed an epic screw up just to avoid punishment."

A round of laughter erupted from Raph. "Please! Leo is the reason we get punished. His conscience doesn't allow him to keep our exploits on the down low. If he knows who did it, he'll rat that person out. Had Leo known about the bonsai he would have been the first to tell before Sensei even knew something was wrong. And even if he did something he wasn't supposed to, he always got caught anyway. He wasn't always stealthy."

Leo nodded. "That's true. When I was little and still using my bokken set, I thought my skills were top notch and didn't understand why I couldn't use a real katana. So I took one from the dojo and started practicing. Well Mikey snuck up behind me and when I turned around I ended up cutting his arm. I was in so much trouble. But I went straight to Sensei and confessed to the incident so it's not a deep, dark secret."

Casey considered explanation for a moment. "Still not convinced you don't have a single secret. Are you honestly saying that there isn't a single fact about yourself that you wouldn't want other people to know?"

And there it was! The slightest twitch in his left eye gave the ninja leader away.

"Ok, Leo, fess it up! What do you not want your brothers to know?!"

Leo's cheeks burned as all eyes fell on him. He was used to being in the spotlight and under scrutiny but this was torture.

"Alright! _But_ before I say anything, you need to understand that I did it all in the name of ninjitsu." Leo surveyed the room as anxious faces awaited his carefully guarded secret. "When I was younger I had a little issue with balance. Well, we all did. Kids are not well coordinated but I couldn't just settle on waiting for balance to figure itself out. I felt like I needed to get my act together quickly especially since Mikey actually had better balance than I did. So one night when Sensei brought home a box of thrown out videos for us to look through I found some ballet videos and used them for practice after everyone was asleep."

Mouths dropped and silence thickened the air in the room as everyone digested the revelation.

"Wow! I mean…wow! No wonder you're the mother hen of the group! Didn't realize you were so in tune with your feminine side"

Chuckles and giggles erupted at Raph's mocking.

"Oh come on! NFL players even use ballet to better their performance. It's good core training," Leo whined in his defense.

"Are you sure you didn't take up ballet cuz we convinced you that you were a girl?"

All laughter ceased! Sly smirks did grace Donnie's and Raph's face though. April and Casey's quizzical looks made soft giggles escape Donnie's lips.

"Whoa! How was that possible?" Casey tried to process the information. "Don't boy turtles have…you know…?"

"Yes! Boy turtles do," Leo growled out. "But Donnie had me convinced that those anatomical differences between boys and girls only applied to humans and not turtles. He's good at using science to confuse people."

Donnie's giggles into full on cackling. "All I had to do was use big words and fake scientific reasoning that sounded logical and we had him."

"But….why?" April asked, a bit disturbed by this elaborate prank and the prospect that Donnie was the mastermind behind it.

The purple banded turtle sighed with a slight eye roll. "It's not easy living with Leo. The bossiness started young with him and we just got fed up with him. So we all plotted for weeks on the perfect prank. One day, Raph got furious with Leo and told him off with 'You ain't our mother!' and so the concept for the prank was born."

"That's sad, Dude!"

"That's not the worst, Casey," Mikey smirked. "We had him convinced for almost a year. The only reason Leo found out was cuz he asked Sensei to start looking for dresses so he could look more girly."

Leo's eyes cut dangerously thin as he sent a murderous glare at his little brother. His cheeks burned with anger.

"Well at least I wasn't a bed wetter until I was eleven!" he spat out venomously but instantly bit his lip when Mikey's eyes widened and tears began to well.

Everyone turned and stared at Mikey. At that moment, all the turtle wanted to do was disappear into his shell.

"Jerk," he muttered, averting his gaze and wringing his hands.

"Mikey, I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me."

But Leo's apology fell on deaf ears. Raph watched the scene as guilt painfully twisted his heart. He chewed the inside of his cheek. A deep blush began to show through Mikey's green cheeks – a rare scene to witness on a turtle. A sudden chill went down Raphael's spine when he couldn't shake the feeling of eyes burning holes into the back of his head. He even chanced a peak over his shoulder expecting to see an eerie spectral figure but saw empty space. Still, he was convinced that somehow Splinter was watching the scene with his arms crossed.

 _I would be the one he haunts to make sure I'm behaving._

Finally his conscience just couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"It's not true," Raph blurted out. Confused eyes snapped toward him…even Mikey's. There was no turning back now.

"Mikey wasn't wetting his bed. I was," his voice trailed off. Five sets of eyes pleaded for more information, causing Raph to sigh nervously. "I used to be afraid to go into the bathroom in the middle of the night. I had the idea one night as I was passing by his room and got away with it. After that, it just became a bit of a habit to visit Mikey's room to relieve my problem."

Mikey's cheeks puffed out and angry brows furrowed…and was he growling? Couldn't blame him if he was.

"What is wrong with you?!" Mikey shrieked. "Why would you do that?! What could I have possibly done to have deserve it the first time?!"

"You slipped a roach into my dinner, Numb Skull! Remember?!"

Casey and April gasped. Leo and Donnie groaned as memories from that night flashed through their mind.

"That was just a joke…."

"I ate a roach!"

"Eeeewww!" Casey and April squealed in unison, their faces scrunched up in disgust. Instantly losing his appetite, Casey dropped the rest of his pizza back onto his plate.

"It was traumatizing, Mikey. One night I went to the bathroom and there were roaches everywhere. I couldn't go in but I knew I couldn't last until morning. When I passed by your room, well…it was a perfect time for my revenge. Over time it just got easier to use your room than venture into that death trap. The way I saw it – better you than me. Everyone already expected that kind of behavior from you by that point…"

Raph stopped his tirade as soon as tears freely cascaded down Mikey's cheeks. The youngest turtle stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. The red banded turtle rolled his eyes and huffed.

"It's been four years. You'd think he would be over it by now."

"You're such a jackass, Raph."

Emerald eyes snapped angrily toward Donnie.

"Oh come on, Donnie! Shouldn't it be one of those stories that we look back on and laugh at how ridiculous it was? He needs mature a bit and grow a backbone."

"Mikey has every right to be pissed. It wasn't funny for him; it was embarrassing. First of all, he was the last one to master potty-training and was really proud when he accomplished it and was finally up to speed with us. So when he thought he was wetting the bed, it was a regression for him. He felt like the baby in the family again, and we didn't help matters by constantly reminding him that's how we _did_ view him. And when the wetting didn't stop…well, Sensei got worried that something might have been seriously wrong. We started researching urinary tract disorders and he started stealing prescription medications for the different disorders. Mikey had drugs shoved down his throat to try to solve the problem. This revelation is like having his whole world crumble down around him and then to realize that he went through that hell all because of _you_."

Raph rubbed his temple and sighed, "Guess I need to go bring him back."

. . .

Sitting on a log, Mikey stared down at his own reflection. Fireflies danced around him flashing their yellow lights from their butt. Normally Mikey would have gotten a kick out of watching them but tonight all of that magic was gone. The tears had stopped flowing but his nose still sniffled relentlessly. The sudden crack of a twig made his back go rigid. Turning his head slightly, he glimpsed over his shoulder and then felt a fresh round of tears threatening to escape.

"What do you want?" he demanded coldly, turning his face away as Raph sat next to him on the log.

"I brought a peace offering," he replied, extending the plate of final slice of pizza to Mikey.

"Not hungry."

Raph's face fell and a fresh round of guilt stabbed him. Mikey never rejects pizza – he must have been hurting real bad then. So Raph settled on placing the plate on the log between them.

"If you change your mind, it's all yours."

Raph rubbed the back of his neck unsure of how to proceed. Out of all the times he smacked Mikey around or called him awful names, Mikey always quickly bounced back to his cheery, jokester self. This time the insult had cut too deep – all because of a stupid phobia.

"Look, Mikey, I know what I did was wrong but I didn't think about that at the time. I was just so creeped out by cockroaches that I couldn't even go to the bathroom on my own. Pretty pathetic, huh? You always called me the brave one growing up because that's only because of how I drummed up a macho side. And I ended up doing a pretty cowardly act."

Mikey didn't react. Raph wasn't even sure if Mikey was really listening. His brother just kept his face hidden the whole time.

"Donnie told me what Sensei put you through with the drugs and stuff. I had no idea that was happening at all. You gotta know that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you that way. If I had known I would have confessed to Sensei…honest. I was just so ashamed of being afraid and if I had wet my bed I wouldn't have heard the end of it."

"You _made_ everyone believe it was me though." Mikey turned to face his brother. "You pointed it out and said that I had done it. You purposely lied to everyone. That's worse than people only thinking I did it but you had to point it out just to make sure no one knew it was you. That's low, Dude."

Raph opened his mouth but no sound came out. "Y-you're right," he finally managed to croak out. "I made sure you were my scapegoat. I was just so mad at you and wasn't thinking straight…"

"Did you ever feel bad about it?"

"No. Not until now."

"So what changed? Only feeling guilty cuz of what Donnie said?"

Raph cringed at the tone. Never had he heard Mikey sound so spiteful.

"Mikey, if I could go back in time and change things, I would, but I can't! All I can do is promise to be a better brother. To think about the consequences of my actions before I do them from now on. What can I do to get you to forgive me?"

The moment that question flew out of his mouth, Mikey's smirk instantly made him regret it. Beads of sweat dimpled on his forehead and he gulped. Whatever Mikey was thinking, if this was the path to redemption, then there was no other option.

. . .

"Do you think Mikey is gonna forgive him?" Casey stared out the window at the starry night.

"Mikey is usually quick to forgive but then again, this has got to be the worse betrayal of trust ever. Not sure I could forgive him if I was in that postion," Leo admitted.

"Well apparently Mikey is capable of forgiving even this. They're walking back together. Guess the pizza offering worked."

Everyone scrambled back to their seats, awaiting the juicy details of their conversation. The door swung open to reveal a devious looking Mikey.

"Is everything okay between you two?"

"It'll be cool between us soon enough, Leo," Mikey stated and the released a sinister super-villain chuckle.

"Oh no," Donnie whispered. "What are you up to, Mikey?"

"Let's just say revenge is a dish best served cold."

His evil grin widened when he produced a glass jar from behind his back. Inside sat a solitary cockroach Mikey had caught in the barn. Leo's eyes widened and his skin paled as soon as he realized what Mikey was plotting.

"Don't you dare do it, Mikey! Have we not learned anything about the vicious nature of revenge!"

"It's fine, Leo. I agreed to do this," Raph muttered, biting his lip at the sight of the grotesque bug. "I made Mikey suffer long enough. If this is the only way to rectify for what I have done, then so be it."

Mikey twisted the lid off and offered the jar toward his brother, who was looking greener than usual…if it was possible for Raph to be any greener. The turtle cringed while suppressing the urge to instantly hurl all over the floor. Deep inhale, slow shaky exhale. He reached into the jar and pinched the roach between his fingers. Its legs tickled the side of his fingers, causing the turtle to shudder. He stared into the pest's beady eyes. Its antennae wiggling around menacingly. Raph so badly wanted to cry in that moment. He wouldn't even have been ashamed to bawl like a baby! But he swore to his little brother he would make it up to him and Mikey insisted this would make him happy.

 _Evil little brat!_

Raph panned the room, absorbing the mortified and pitying looks from his brothers and friends. He exhaled a last resolute sigh and popped the little bugger into his mouth, crunching hard on the exoskeleton. A round of gags and disgusted groans filled the room with only one turtle laughing his shell off. Raph's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he his gag reflex tried to kick in.

"I swear, Raph, if you puke you're cleaning it," Leo warned, pulling his legs close to his body ready to shield himself from projectile vomiting.

Raph danced and squirmed in place as he fought against the nauseating feeling in the pit of his stomach. His fist pressed firmly against his lips as he coughed. He gulped hard but he was certain the legs were catching the side of his throat, preventing it from finding its way to his stomach. Dashing to the kitchen, I stuck his mouth under the faucet and greedily chugging water to wash the critter down. Once his throat finally felt clear, he gasped for breath and sunk to the floor. A shadow loomed over him and he looked up to find Mikey standing over him.

"Now we're even. Thanks, Bro!" The younger brother threw his arms around the elder's neck and pulled him into a reluctant hug.

April watched the scene completely mortified by what she witnessed.

"If this is a normal sibling relationship, I'll count my blessings for being an only child!"

And with her final comment, April retired for the night certain she would have nightmares over this. She was closely followed by the turtles, each of whom fought to keep their dinner down. Only Mikey walked away from the event unfazed. Casey sat alone with his legs tossed over the sofa's arm contemplating the various stories, each providing insight into the lives of the mutant turtles. But then he realized….

"Hey, hold up! We never heard Mikey's secret…"


End file.
